But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
