you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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