Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
