i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
