why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
