I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
