theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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