i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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