Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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