Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
