I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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