i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
