I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
