Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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