he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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