dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
