Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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