I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
