Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize