u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
