u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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