...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
