Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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