We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
