Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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