Christians are straight up FREAKS
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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