A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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