and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
