I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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