I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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