How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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