new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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