this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
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