I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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