It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there was a trapeze. enough said
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
