you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
