My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
