Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
