there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
