Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
40s are totally the cure
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
