Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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