I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
