my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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