I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
