How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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