remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
