So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
