I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
