There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
