I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
