Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
